The Beautiful Alex Bolshakova made this for me...

An early august weekend

Well this is what I did this weekend I made a skirt and little hat...

brains and beauty

Another hand made head gear. Yes I know my lipstick is smudged didnt at the time of taking picture. But I cant be bothered to take it again once I put it on the computer....

Here you go bitches

I spy with my summer eye

Let them stuff themselves with sugar see if I care

Made this cake the other week druing the height of my illness. Then my dad did the usual- why you making a cake blah blah blah they are never that good blah blah blah full of fat blah blah

Anyway I ate a slice left the rest in the oven saying that he can try it if he likes but I dont want to hear any of his negative reviews. So he tried it and ate the rest of the cake.

It was a Mars bar cake. The mix had mars bar milkshake in it and bits of a real mars bar. Actually just typing this makes me want make another one.

One Day

not based on anyone......

One day it will be right
and not be accompied with a stabbing pain

One day I can display it in plain sight
and not have to hide it away as if I feel shame

One day it will not involve a fight
and will not have to justify it

One day the atmosphere will be light
instead of being surrounded with a storm cloud of doom

One day a celebration cake I will bite
instead of stuffing my face alone to make myself feel better

One day I will not have to use all my might
instead it will be relaxed peaceful even normal

One day I will roll over to sleep at night
and not worry that in the morning all will have changed

One day I will squeeze you tight
and it will not feel awkward strange or too soon

One day I will be able to stop writing completely

One day I will be happy

coalition government my views

In the bathroom this morning I pondered how I felt about the coalition government this is it.

Firstly certain members of the press are saying that the people got what they wanted. Well I not really sure that is true. I am sure the majority of people voted for an outright winner. I voted against the tories by voting for labour they didnt win fine. But this is what seems to have happened-

A loud annoying knock on my front door-

'Hello little girl let me in, I want to be your friend' - hooded figure.

' Erm wait a second I can't see you' - Me

'Its me you can trust me I'm not like the others' -hooded figure

'No your not I can see you now you the bloody boogeyman why would I want you in my life?'-Me

'I have changed reformed I am less boogey more relaxed and free thinking' -Hooded figure

'Er you still look the same to me underneath the hood and all so I won't be letting you in, I have been warned about you when I was a child you did bad things to people' -Me

I walk off thinking I am free from the hooded figure. Tuck myself into bed and then feel someone tap me on the head.

'Its me little girl they let me in when you werent looking, well they didnt really they left the door open and I stepped in and made myself at home! Isn't it great!' - Hooded figure.

Door keeper comes up to the hooded figure wraps his arms around him and reassures me its ok that he didnt like him either but it means that he will be upgraded to butler and will keep an eye on the boogeyman so I have anything to worry about............

The boogeyman and butler have agreed that they will stay together for a minimum of 5 years.....


The end.......

bag of change?

Anyway made the majority of this bag because I was putting off voting. I was so scared that I would be voting and the evil tories that I had heard so much about in the eighties would be coming into power. Instead as I type this no one is leading the country. Gordon who I just want to hug (is that only me) is caretaking it, at school noone respected the caretaker is it the same now?

So I have finished the bag today. By my next blog we will have a new government what it will be I don't know. I just hope that Clegg will realise that Cameron will say anything to be in power and will not stick to all that he claims he made.

A bunch of words

Yes I have managed to write something not about me me me. I have actually thought about someone even if it is fictional other than myself-

Why Him?

Why be with someone who used to 'be'
When I am 'is'

He needs to rely on photos of 'when'
When I am 'now'

He tells you jokes he has said a million times before
When laughs new for you are always on my mind

He has made all the friends he needs for life
When together we can make more

You could be his 80th, 90th, 100th
Christ even more

I simply don't understand your thinking
and wonder if you are at all

I simply want you to forget this old man
and take my open hand.

my first fascinator

Watch out for me rolling around town in this fancy piece........

Teenagers- They Piss me off

How comes you find it so easy to kill?
To take someone else's life under your will
the world is yours tomorrow
and all you will be left with is an empty shell coated in your own sorrow
I am glad I am no younger
So I will escape before your ruin
and not have to witness another mother's pain

chess-the battle begins

All my life I have wanted to play chess. My brother and I had a set when we were younger but since he didnt know how to play he couldn't teach me. Then one day in the glory days of being a runner a kind sole showed me. However we only played once that 12 hour shift and we never played again so I forgot how. Then last year Steve showed me how to play, again dispite my begging we only played once. So today I have started to make my own chess set in the hope that the universe will think she has gone through so much of an effort she deverses to play more than once every 4 years...... here is the beginnings of it....

yes yes hell see you soon.

Sometimes when life hands you a lemon you should not always think lemonade is your best option.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/21/20100406/tuk-women-didn-t-know-relative-was-dead-6323e80.html

Hot juicy knitting action

I made this hat mostly on thursday, finished it off in the pub on friday. I personally think the new owner should have hammed up his reaction and pretended he liked my efforts more, thats all I am saying.

The Tube never fails to surprise

On sunday I saw micheal portellio today I saw someone being arrested for sexual assualt. 'mr. madison' if off the central line don't worry ladies.

Karma will get me for this

Here are some of the introduction messages I have recieved on a dating site. In blue are there messages. Royal Holloway taught me critial analysis and I have never looked back.

Hi Moira---Moira, your eyes are absolutely gorgeous and having a 'few extra pounds' I just LOVE. I am very good at Massage and would love to massage your beautiful naked body and well, Moira I would be a liar(which I am NOT!) when I say that the thought of having you 'ride me on top' thrills me no end. Of course we will go to the auction. A weekend away in Hampshire with you--well, could I resist such? Love Philip. xxxx Previous to this I had asked him about classic car auctions.

wooow you sturning beautiful and l like you to bits what are you up to? Has he already calculated how many bin bags I will fit into?

hows it going, had a good weekend? when u say retro funiture does that mean like 80s or more older than that like antique stuff - by eighties furniture does he mean black coated MDF?

Am new in this site.i looking for who i can date and hook up with, that is carring,loving and romatic for us to be together.i would be glad if u return my msg.thanks. Someone teach this guy the purpose of capital letters.

hello derling u beautiful i fancy u maybe if u try - go back to school

Hi... I do not know what to say on this thing, But I would say that I like what I see, ans would like to get to know you... My name is Darryl, I do think you are a sexy young Black Queen I'm on here to see if there is a Queen for me on here Someone to share life with... If I'm not your type, its ok I would keep it moving... But still would like a reply back from you, that is what I call communication.Thank you for taking the time out the to read this note, hope to speak to you soon....Darryl I love the way he thinks that he invented the word communication


Hi weel I will be totaly honest and tell you that I have a thing for cuvy blacvk women I know its not the thing I should be telling you but when I saw your photo I just thought Wow I got to get to know this beautycan I have your number please ?Chris Well you asked so of course I am going to give you my number.....

Hello,My name is Daniel, i love ur profile and would like to know more about you maybe we can meet one of these days but first let's get to know each other beta. Let's talk online, my Y!M is: @yahoo.com......longing to hearing frm u. I just hate his use of beta instead of better.

Yeah last one for a while. blog getting too wordy.

My New Friend


My New Friend is different
He is very different from you
He is very different from me

My New Friend has never seen me cross, confused or lost
Never seen me fall over and walk home covered in mud

My New Friend knows edited highlights
doesn't know me at my naughtiest has never heard my fights

My New Friend doesn't know me in daylight
never seen me ill doesn't know how my body has betrayed me

My New Friend doesn't know my duck like feet, wobbly belly or enormous bum
My New Friend hasn't seen me cu_... I mean will never meet my mum

My New Friend probably thinks I'm dum
with my new friend I could have lots of fun

My New Friend has said that he likes me
but will he turn his head when he gets bored
I will leave things open for him to act upon his own accord.

well its obvious isnt it....

NO HA HA NO HE HE

Well now you know how I felt
and I wasn't infatuated
and I wasn't being a silly little girl
you tried to say if we stopped it early it would be easy to walk away

well its been just over month
as far as I know
and the exactly the same feelings I had are running through me are plaguing you

I would love to be able to laugh and point and dance around screaming-
'I TOLD YOU SO'
but instead I just find it sad that at your age you are no better than me when it comes to dealing with this painful disease.

a new poem

I am ready to be hung up

He ironed me out
he got into all of my creases
and straightened me out
he adjusted my folds and
ironed me out
he spent more time around the breasts
went from back to front
and followed the contours of my seems from my toes to my waist
one particular area that he continuously pressed was
just below my waist
he pressed it for quite a while then at one point removed his heat
and then came back much harder
just when I thought he couldnt get me any more smooth
he withdrew and
sprayed his starch
then put me to rest on a hanger.

a poem

A response

There are lines that go from mid to bottom
from centred semi circle,
to the small penny sized hole
and circumferences swooping around the peppered strands,
Knotted lengths mirrioring the now refined swob

The flash behind the window has now leaked
leaving the internal shaving to become exposed.

By MTG

Fish Pie

BEFORE and AFTER

70s quilt has a new form

Well I messed this one up but I am going to still use it. I made it to put my music books in when I am going to my piano lessons. As my dad pointed out with much glee I messed the pocket up. Its because I didnt originally plan to do a pocket made the main bag then found it really hard to sew. As my machine is industrial it doesnt have free arm sewing. Meaning that anything that is tube shaped is hard to do such as shirt sleeves and as I now know pockets.

Whatever my vintage frankie goes to hollywood badge has a new home.

Friday afternoon

A certain Silver haired friend of mine keeps moaning about my ilability to spell. Whatever it isnt going to stop me posting.

Friday I made a skirt with lining. I havent used lining for a while. Mainly cause the first time I used it I destroyed the skirt as I no longer could fit my big hips in it.

Purple and Black a good mix I think.....

You cant really see but the black material has little holes in it with embroidery around them. So the purple lining is shows.

Nigella I'm coming for you............

Pork Loin No Less

Anyone for cream tea bitches? (note the fifth scone was consumed before pic 2 was taken)

Gingham not just for school uniforms

You might just be able to make out that this is a light blue gingham. It was meant to be a copy of a black and cherry print dress with I loved but wouldnt fit because of my boobs. As time went on I had to change this as it started to resemble a completely different dress in face it beared no relation.

Well this annoying stupid thing took but the majority of my sunday afternoon. I could have been watching the antiques roadshow and learnt about priceless pottery. But oh no....

I got so tired towards the end that I pinned the skirt to the wrong side of the back. I took this as a sign to stop. That and spanish football was on and the shouting in a fake spanish accent by my dad was putting me off. I think he wanted to get rid of me as he couldnt cope with the buzzing of the motor any more. That machine is bloody load.

Needless to say its still not finished. I havent done the sleeves. The collar needs doing, it needs to be heamed. And because of the alignment of my stiching I have to add a strip down the middle.

I also because I have big boobs need to show them off more so I need to show more cleavage.

No I dont like the pattern

The next two items where made out of the cheapest fabric. I didnt like the pattern but it was near enough free.

The skirt took 1 day. The dress a day and half two days....

The dress was copied from a plain gap dress that I brought and wore to my mum's funeral. For obvious reasons I dont want to wear it again. Unfortunately I decided to add a middle band to it. This wasnt really a good idea. But I dont think that you can really see it in the picture so I will lie and say its all great......

Take the time to look at the back of the dress. Those long zips are a bitch to fit.

Buy Buy Buy

Even when I didnt have a working machine I was buying fabric. I was born in the eighties and greed is good culture somehow take over whenever I am in fabric shops. I go to the asian material shops and on the basis that they are cheap and there are loads of them in London. When you go to central London and see the price of material it makes me feel sick to the bone. Plus there is the one remaining button shop on the street that I go shopping on. It full of machine bits and zips. I have a pot of hundreds of buttons now. Is it wrong that I buy the buttons and think about what I am going to do with them after?

Plus charity shops sometimes have cards of buttons I keep getting myself into that trap as well.

So there are two kinds of material that I get. Some that I would like to wear and others that are ugly and I buy simply to practice on.

The big time

For more than a month I became a stalker on the internet. I was stalking sewing machines. Day and night I looked at sewing machines. After visiting a sewing machine shop I had been advised that I shouldn't bother with a new singer machine to replace the old one. The company had goine bust and the new machines where no good. After my experience with the old brother I didnt want to go down that road again. It started off on websites of department stress. I had been advised about a model by the man in the shop. I saw it in variaring different prices.

(image is not of actual machine)

I then decided Ebay get an old singer one. I watched like a hawk. Losing two. By this time I was getting angry. I decided that with any domestic machine they would not withstand the amount of sewing that I was planning to do in my mind.

An industrial machine it would have to be. They are bloody experience. Even on ebay a second hand one could be £400. Not ready to pay that but if I could get one for a resonable amount I would go for it.





Then I found out that they weighed a tone. Great no car how could I drag that home.





I had been added by a kind donation from a well placed bet.





Gumtree had a few. Lastly I looked on loop when I was sick of the site of images of sewing machines. It was around the corner. Wicked. I rang the number had a confused conversation with a lady who didnt speak very good english.





After three visits that bad boy was mine....

My first decent make

The first item I made that I was willing to wear outside the house. I even wore it to a christmas party. I told people that I made it. They where not that impressed. Bitches. Well it took two days to make it. That is not constantly mind. It was on my mum's 1970s singer that now has problems with the tension wheel.

As a result of this I brought a new cheap brother. It was shit. This has not stopped me going on to buy another brother mind.

My new life as a seamstress

Yes I do have too much time on my hands,

Now that I have an industrial sewing machine I am sewing my way out of bordem.

I work myself so hard I might as well as be a sweat shop. In fact I would at least earn 2pence per hour.

By the end of the year I hope to be making prom dresses. Maybe one can star on my super 16 as some bitch gets a new BM and will zoom past me at the bus stop. One can only dream.